Bring back the art of human charm

There are several dates every year where cash registers explode and people ramp up their charm and expressions of love for others.  We need to bring back the art of human charm all year. It shouldn’t be held for  Valentines Day, Xmas Day, Mothers Day, Fathers Day etc. 

Charm is than for the hallmark card dates, personal or intimate relationships. It’s relevant for everyone both professionally & personally. And its for every day of the year.

Now  before anyone throws chocolate boxes and bottles of champers at me, let  me clearly state what charm is and is not.  I’m not talking about any gendered, surreptitious seductive manoeuvres, sleazy innuendos or manipulative behaviours.

Nor am I referring to disingenuous sexual orientations, sycophantic actions, effusive self-serving compliments or snake oil sales flattery.

Charm when used for good intent is the quality of politeness, delighting, attracting, fascinating, curiosity and captivating others.   It’s about showing genuine interest in others and making them feel valued.

The Happy Hormones    

And it’s a fair call to say we all hanker for more joy and feel good moments in our  lives. But those happy hormones (serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins) can be in short supply in our daily work as we grind the wheels of survival, success, failure, change, and competition and business relationships.

The neuroscience and benefits of happy chemicals are well documented. Genuine charm and gratitude has a significant impact on professional lives, creativity, mental and physical wellbeing.

As Dale Carnegie in his evergreen book ‘How to Win Friends & Influence People’ said:

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”

A few general tips 

The first few minutes of any interaction sets the scene .Even the first few lines of an email, SMS or social media message will frame the communication direction.  And it’s not just relevant for 1st time meetings or connections.

1/  Make eye contact (in person and zoom)
2/  Be fully present – not on mobiles or glancing around the room
3/  Smiling and greeting with real enthusiasm
4/  Initiate curious conversations with thoughtful questions
5/  Really listen (and demonstrating you have)
6/  Giving ‘genuine’ compliments and showing gratitude
7/  Have fun and be light hearted
8/  Manners & saying thank – they never go out of style
9/  Treat all ages with the same level of care and respect

Tips for Employees & Job Candidates

Candidates:

In job applications and cover letters give a genuine compliment as to why the company is of interest – make them feel a little special. Share why you admire the organisation and are keen to work with there.

Employees & Recruiters 

Ditto, show genuine appreciation of candidates Express gratitude for their time and tell them what impressed you about them. Make them feel a little special.

Impact 

The impact of charm is wedded into how people feel about themselves and you after interacting. Whether that be in person, via zoom, email or phone, the impact will be either feeling valued and energised or devalued and weakened.

Bringing  back the art of charm will positively impact yourself and others.  Being kind and generous with honest intent to others strengthens our self esteem and self worth.  And the benefits of genuine charm in your career, business and workplace will do wonders.  It will impact relationships, loyalty,  productivity and success.

And it will strengthen your reputation and make you more memorable too.