From ouch to yes: How a teachable spirit & open mind shifts everything

We all whinge and complain at times as its simply part of being human. Some do it constantly on steroids others just occasionally.  And hey it does feel good to have a moan.

After all we not AI robots but breathing souls and often very messy people facing life and work challenges that we  inherit, attract, amplify or  flat-out create.

From the moment we’re born, we’re forever learning, failing, and navigating the (often bloody hard) road toward success and happiness.  But somewhere along the way, too many adults forget that learning mustn’t stop to thrive.

Refining and redefining ourselves is a life-long journey and stuffing up and changing course is completely OK.   A quick note that:

Refining is making something existing much better. Redefining is taking a whole new direction and focus.

Sadly, many people get stuck. Fear, ego, harmful environments and shame freeze their ability to ask for help or embrace change.  And what people say they’re willing and planning to do is often very different from what they actually end up doing.

If life or work feels miserable and fulfilment has packed its bags and left the building I suggest you ask the famous question from TV’s Dr. Phil: How’s that working for you?

Then, ask yourself something even bigger: Do I have a teachable spirit and an open mind/heart?

Without these two attitudes life can often feel like we are pushing shit uphill which can be painful and slow without much fun and joy.

Being teachable and open isn’t easy. It means confronting gaps, truths, blind spots and vulnerability. Sometimes it means refining what you do, sometimes it means a total transformation and change. Either way it’s bloody hard but frankly often there is just no other choice.

Lately, I’ve reflected deeply on this as I evolve my work focus beyond career consulting. I’ve watched my own journey and the journeys of clients, networks, and friends as they wrestle with tough decisions and face their ‘OUCH’ moments.

What’s an OUCH moment?

An OUCH moment hits you in the gut like a flame of brutal honesty, whether from yourself or others.   It’s the realisation you haven’t aligned your actions with values, chased your passions or looked at a situation clearly.  It’s also the painful letting go of expecting people or circumstances to change or support you.

I’ve had plenty of OUCH moments over the past years and by gee none of them were easy. I also watched others drowning in their struggles, some stuck in a continuous loop of whinging and blame.

Instead of asking ‘what I can do differently?’ they stayed locked in old patterns unable to refine or redefine in any meaningful and sustainable way.

Sure, everyone processes advice at their own pace.  But the difference between those who stayed stuck and those who broke through was simple:  A teachable spirit and an open mind/heart.

Now lets be blunt- not all feedback and advice is gold. Some is total junk and ego driven nonsense. Discernment is so important as you shouldn’t blindly accept everything you tell yourself and hear from other people. A willingness to listen with open critical thinking and heart is key.

Flexing a teachable spirit & open mind/heart

1. Take a brutally honest look in the mirror.
2. Choose not to let fear and shame freeze action
3. Be approachable and smile a lot.
4. Remember two heads are better than one.
5. Listen to others – even those you don’t like at times
6. Be forever curious (a Nosy Parker if you will ha ha).
7. Appreciate that no one has all the answers and is a God like guru.
8. Encourage others to share their struggles and learn from them.
9. Swap “should do” for “must do.”
10. Learn something new every single week. (First time in my life  I made Pizza Dough this last weekend)
11. Help someone who is nothing like you and stretch your heart.

Without a teachable spirit and open mind we are just treading water. We must own our OUCH moments constantly and especially when situations are difficult and suck.

I know first hand how powerful they are  as they’ve saved me more times than I can count. They’ve pulled me out of ruts and pushed me forward to refine or redefine myself when life and circumstances demanded it.

Personal Update

As I shared in a recent  LinkedIn post, I’m evolving away from career and job search consulting. I’m redefining what truly matters and embarking on new horizons. Going forward, my blogs and newsletters will still challenge the status quo but dive deeper into human behaviour, ethical communications, personal stories, reflections and lifelong passions.